Joel's Page

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YIM:: modf999
AOL:: joelswede
MSN:: modf999@hotmail.com

Info:
I am from Ohio, Northeastern part known as Mentor. I spend most my time writeing music and drawing. I smoke alot but I dont drink that often.

I'm eccentric, energetic, and upbeat. My life has been a roller coaster. I'm not ready to get off, but I'm definitely down for a straight-forward patch of it. I speak like a Stoner who read the dictionary one too many times. I have the bad habit of quoting songs, movies, or novels. It's an on-going joke that I know too much useless info.

I've just recently begun understanding myself. Sometimes, true understanding comes out of catastrophe. No, I am not depressed. I've reinstated my status as a realist. Do not take my new found apathy as a cry for help, it was a much needed reality check. I think too much. I feel too much. I couldn't stop if I tried. I've attempted masking it, but sometimes it physically hurts. My walls are up so high, and they're so strong that they're impenetrable. My guard is up, even when it doesn't need to be. I let people see who I am, and they hurt me. I'm afraid of being vulnerable.

It took me a long time to start letting go of grudges. It took me a long time to get to the point where I didn't feel like I needed them to keep my going. My hatred and suspicion was the only thing waking me up in the morning. Now, it's love. Love for my life. Love for my friends. I'm finally letting go of the little things that used to bother me. I'm growing. Developing. Changing. Learning. Loving. Living.

I'm afraid of turning out the way that some people in my life have. I'm constantly checking myself. I don't drink often. I will never touch a drug ever again in my life except weed. I will never, ever, let myself get to the point that I don't have another option but to take my own life. I refuse to be anything like my role-models have been. My life hasn't been easy. That's plain to see. I'm not letting it keep me down. I'm taking each experience in stride and making myself a stronger and better person. Without all of the pain I went through, I wouldn't have the strength to do the things that I am doing now.

I'm many things. I'm a walking oxymoron. It's safe to call myself an enigma. People think they can read me, but probability is, if you think you can, I probably just don't like you enough to converse at length with you. I'm a Drywall Finisher, Web Designer, Artist, Composer, Producer, Graphic Designer, and Musician. 1 of those are actual paying jobs. I am a passionate person that tends to get overwhelmed very easily. I sometimes need a break, but, it seems like, no one seems to understand that.

I think about other people before I think of myself. At the end of the day, that's my biggest down fall. I'd take a bullet for anyone that I care about, yet, I give, and give, and will never receive the amount of unconditional love that I give away. Well, with only a few exceptions. Of course, it's a burden that I would take over any other. A burden of too big of a heart. When you have children though it never feels big enough.

I know, I have the tendency of being a little too wordy.

Music
Along with playing bass for Memories of Dreams Forgotten I also like these bands:
In Flames, Dream Theater, Opeth, Dimmu Borgir, Lacuna Coil, Shadows Fall, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Samael, Children of Bodem, Sound Garden, Iced Earth, Iron Maiden, Machinehead, Nothingface, Black Sabbath, Rush, Eric Johnson, Flowing Tears, Soilwork, Fear Factory, Mudvayne, Arch Enemy, John Petrucci & Jordan Rudes, Killswitch Engage, Lamb Of God, God Forbid, Dragon Force, Within Temptation, Dark Tranquility, Therion, Nightwish, The Project Hate MCMXCIX, Flowing Tears, The Devon Townsend Band, Strapping Young Lad, Divine Heresy, All That Remains, Amon Amarth, Pink Floyd, My Dieing Bride, Trivium, Pantera, Megadeth, Metallica, Slayer, Acid Bath.

My Likes / Dislikes
Likes: I enjoy playing Video games, writing music, playing bass, drawing, html vhtml xml scc java and flash, I love chilling with my girlfriend Susie and my Kids Raven Blake and Sam, I also like cooking.

Dislikes: I dislike people who judge others, I dislike people who abuse children, often i find I hate people who dont take the time to listen to others especially children. I dislike birds (they poop on what ever they want and make alot of noise ass ealry in the morning)